BLOSSOM IN THE WILDERNESS Pauline’s 57 Year Journey In The Wilderness

Then in 1995, once again Pauline was blindsided and hit extremely hard by the enemy, with relentless attacks even into today.   

However, as Romans 8:28 (NLT) states, "And we know that GOD causes everything to work together for the good of those who love GOD and are called according to his purpose for them.“  

Therefore, Pauline knew that because of her love relationship with The LORD - every battle she would fight would all work out in the end, and for HIS Glory! 

At times, in the natural, these last 27 years “In The Wilderness” (from 1995 to 2022) have been extremely painful, hard, long, and lonely.    

However, these last 27 years "In The Wilderness” were also a Special Gift; an incredibly precious, joyous, and priceless time with The LORD, surrounded in HIS Love.    

During this Wilderness, Pauline learnt how to Abide in HIM; Grow in a deeper Partnership with JESUS, GOD The Father, and The HOLY SPIRIT; and truly make HIM LORD over everything in her life.

HE healed her shattered heart; renewed her mind with The WORD of GOD; changed her ungodly mindsets and beliefs.

She learnt how to continually "shake off the snake bites", truly forgive all who have hurt her, and release everything to HIM; even when her feelings tried to justify "hanging on" to the hurt, and the pain.

During this season, Pauline was "forced" to walk in total Trust and Obedience to GOD.  Eventually, she "gave up the need to understand the process" and/or to "know how the journey ends".

She also learnt how to "not be moved" from following HIS Instructions; no matter the costs to her, her reputation, and her relationships.

HE also revealed many aspects of HIS Character / Nature to her; HE gave her HIS Deep Friendship and HIS Heart; and her mind was continually blown way by HIS Faithfulness and Kindness which left her in constant Awe and Referential Fear of Who HE Is!

Obviously, by no means has Pauline "arrived" in her personal walk with The LORD; or being made into the image and Love of The LORD JESUS (as we are all called to become); or understand all the mysteries of The SPIRIT. None of us will "arrive" until we are home in heaven with GOD The Father, and made fully into HIS Likeness. Amen! 

For Pauline it has become a "Daily Journey of Trust"; learning to live from a place of incredible Hope in HIM knowing that HE only is her source in everything, from everything and for everything. 

She also received HIS supernatural Peace, Joy, and Love - knowing that GOD, The Master of The Universe, had her in HIS Arms. 

Finally, HE lovingly taught her "Foundational Keys". HE faithfully guided her to Overcome each shattering trauma; and extremely painful and difficult battle in The Wilderness; and Blossom into Victory for HIS Glory! 

The LORD asked Pauline to share with you in this website page, some of the trauma and battles that she walked through - both alone without partnering with GOD as she did in her 20s; and later with the love, protection and guidance from GOD.

From 1995 - 2022, The LORD and Pauline walked together in the Wilderness through the following traumas and battles: 

• 1995 - 1997:  Unbeknownst to Pauline initially, she was 1 of 6 women (and the last) who was sexually assaulted at their workplace, by the person who held the 3rd highest position at a national head office of a Christian institution (with a huge international communion). Sadly, this institution knew about the sexual abuse of the other women; and in 2 incidents (of the 5 prior separate sexual assaults over a 3-year period) asked the man involved to "behave". They did nothing else but swept all the abuses "under the rug" for fear of a public scandal. The LORD had Pauline bring her case forward initially within the legal tribunal structure of the national Christian institution (instead of criminally). The 2-year legal preceding was extremely difficult as the national Christian institution launched a series of intimation tactics, lies, traps - trying desperately for Pauline to either withdrawa;l or have the case dismissed. They were so powerful that they were able to get a publication ban on the details of the case. GOD guided Pauline each and every step she took, and the case was eventually tried in the Human Rights Commission of Ontario, where Pauline won on paper.

• 1995 - 1997: 

* [Pauline's requirement to settle was as follows: She encouraged the man involved to get help, with the support of the institution; required that the institution amend their nation-wide sexual assault and harassment policies as they were hostile and punitive towards the victims. She received a written apology from the both the man involved, and the national Christian intuition for the sexual assault and the hostile legal case process. She was also awarded a reimbursement of her legal fees, lost wages, and recompense. The national Christian intuition was also required by the Human Rights Commission of Ontario to publish "The Written Apology", since by not dealing with the 5 other sexual assaults, they knowingly let Pauline work in an environment that caused her serious harm.] 

* [Shockingly and extremely unfortunate, the national Christian institution took a wrong turn, and a major risk, by delaying the publication of "The Written Apology" for 3 months; and instead, when it was published "an altered version of The Original Approved Written Apology", taking out the fact that Pauline was "sexually assaulted". Then they simultaneously implemented an international smear campaign to destroy Pauline's good name and reputation internationally so as to "cover-up The Truth" and to "protect" themselves from larger scandal and backlash internationally. Therefore, Pauline had the legal right to "hold them accountable" because they "Breached The Agreed Upon Settlement" with The Human Rights Commission of Ontario; and she could reopen the case where "The Truth" would be known; which would then include the revealing of all the skeletons in the closet of the many sexual abuses at the national office; and Pauline's name would be cleared. However, The LORD directed Pauline to leave the negative international public smear campaign and the breach in the settlement agreement in HIS Hands.] 

* [Pauline was very mad with HIS Instructions, she felt abandoned by GOD, and extremely angry at the national Christian institution. For 1 year she complained bitterly non-stop unto The LORD; as this was not the ending she had expected - especially since she was completely obedient to GOD every step of the way. One night, Pauline was in her "victim mode" and declared to GOD, "I was obedient to You, I didn't take a step unless You told me to. It cost me everything (including my significant relationships, my health, my spiritual community, my income, my reputation, and my good name internationally); and now my life is ruined with my dead body parts scattered all over the battlefield - abandoned and forgotten." (Such a drama queen lol) GOD replied, (having enough of her complaining, put Pauline in her place), "Pauline, your job is to be Obedient to ME! It is none of your business what the outcome is." Wow - What A Life Changing Truth!] 

* [In 1999 (6 months after Pauline was put in her place by GOD), GOD did move HIS Mighty Hand hard against this national Christian institution on an extremely bigger scale - which continues to cost/impact them severely even today in 2022. In June 1999, the Supreme Court of Canada held them publicly and financially responsible (along with another Christian institution) for their part in the residential school abuses and the years of cover-up. 

• In 1995: Pauline sought Pastoral counselling from the Church next door to the national head office of the Christian institution with respect to the sexual assault she had endured. In the first session, Pauline disclosed the facts but did not reveal who the assailant was. She also disclosed to the Priest, that she had been sexually assaulted at age 8 at a Christian camp; and had been bothered sexually by many men most of her life. The Priest was kind, listened, and they booked another counselling session the following week. He also suggested that she attend the Toronto Blessing near the airport; as he had heard that many people were being touched by GOD and healed physically and emotionally. However at their next session, the Priest opened the session by stating, "Since you were sexually assaulted as a child, and now again as an adult; what are you doing to cause this?" Pauline was completely horrified and shocked by his statement, and without saying a word, walked out of the Priest's office never to return. Clearly, the Priest had found out who was the assailant was (the man holding the 3rd highest position in all of Canada); and he chose for political reasons not to minister / counsel Pauline. 

•  In 2002, Pauline was abducted in South America by a criminal gang and miraculously rescued by GOD, which led to other key Divine Encounters. (The LORD has asked Pauline to write about the abduction and all the adventures that followed in a book called, "HE Knows Where You Are!" to be published in 2023.)

• 2003 - 2004: Pauline’s Dad died of cancer, which left a significant void because for the first 19 years of Pauline's life he filled the role of mother, father, and mentor. Sadly, n the last 5 months before his death was also extremely difficult. Pauline was horrifed to learn that her stepmother (who struggles with bipolar disorder) had been physically abusing her Dad, refusing him access to food and water. Pauline moved in temporarily to take care of all the meals; leaving them accessible prior to going to work during the day. One morning Pauline found that her stepmother had severely burnt (3rd degree burns) her Dad during the night 3 months before he died. In order to protect her Dad from further harm, Pauline gave up her work contracts to be at his home 24/7; and she slept on the couch beside him. There were more verbal and behavioural incidents by her stepmother, but no more physical harm done to her Dad before he died.

• 2004: Then the day before the funeral, her stepmother was upset that Pauline's mother would also be at the funeral; and she attacked Pauline, who blocked the punches to her face with her arms and escaped the premises without her boots in mid-winter. (Pauline did not go to the police but pictures were taken by Pauline's brother, their stepmother's children were informed, and medication was reinstated/adjusted.) Pauline then attended her Dad's funeral covered in bruises from the attack.

• 2005 - 2022: Pauline's 1/2 Immune System crashed and for 17 years straight she struggled continuously with pneumonia, fevers, and numerous other major infections; for years she was often too weak to sit up in a chair; she was bed ridden on-and-off for many years which led to major weight gain; she was continuously covered for 14 years with chronic urticaria/boils and for 9 months she had to be wrapped in 100% Egyptian cotton sheets as it was too painful for anything else to touch her skin; her face and body became painfully stretched and deformed from the extreme histamine reaction - where she looked like either Donald Duck, a monster with only one eye, or Quasimodo from the Hunch Back of Notre-Dame story; the corneas of her eyes ripped open twice; she developed Vitiligo with her skin become patched with both while and dark brown spots like a leopard; and for a season, she was under the care of more than 16 medical specialists from the top 5 hospitals in Canada; and was told 2 different times that she could die. Nevertheless GOD!

• For many years, Pauline also lost her mental capacity to think, read, add numbers, or write; and she had trouble following her thoughts when in conversations. (Slowly, she is getting better in this area. Praise GOD!)

• In 2011, Pauline was finally diagnosed with a rare primary immune deficiency disease by a world renown immunologist. In order to support her immune system, Pauline is permanently back on antibiotics (like she was from age 0-18 years) and she continues to receive monthly medical treatment in Toronto (including during the COVID-19 lockdowns); and she has become stronger since June 2021.  

• In 2008: Due to being critically ill, Pauline had to let go of her successful business.  

• In 2008: Pauline also had to stop supplementing her Mother's income, as she did for the last 10 years. (In 2004, Pauline also gave her Mom Cdn. $50,000 when her Dad died, as she knew her stepmother would impede the release of the monies owed to Pauline's mom from her Dad's Estate. Which indeed happened, and it took many years for her Mom to win in court and things changed dramatically - 360 degrees - only after Pauline petitioned The Supreme Righteous Judge of The Universe to intervene. Praise GOD!)

• Pauline lived off her savings and investments for 3 years; before falling into deep poverty. 

• 2012-2013: Pauline lived in conditions of homelessness, with no access to hydro or running water for over a year, including during a Canadian winter.  

• 2010 - 2022: Later Pauline cared for her mom who was also critically ill and struggled with the on-set of dementia, while she herself was critically ill. 

• July 2019: Pauline's mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and palliative care was arranged and a hospital bed ordered, but GOD in HIS Mercy miraculously removed the tumour by September 2019.

• Pauline's last 27-year wilderness journey has been misunderstood / lied about / and judged wrongly by most; which deeply saddened her for many years. 

• October - December 2021: Pauline fell 3 times (having never fallen before) seriously injured her back. She is also fighting a disease that turns her ligaments and tendons into bone that attaches to the spine which can lead to further fractures of her back; and is now under the care of a new specialist. (Incredibly in June 2022, while worshipping the LORD at a conference, GOD touched her back and it is as if the slip disc was put back into the proper place.) 

• February 2022: Pauline burned both hands in a bizarre accident at her work at the hospital with a chemical that is more corrosive than bleach; which delayed her in developing this website.

• March - September 2022: As Pauline was launching this ministry, her 91-year-old mom fell, broke her hip, had emergency surgery only to contract COVID-19 twice while recovering in hospital; and to this day is still in hospital trying to recover. 

How about you?  What trauma and extreme pain have YOU endured? It could easily be much worse than Pauline's journey - because the devil is pure evil and desires to destroy our families, relationships, hearts, minds, bodies and spirits.

Nevertheless GOD! Thankfully with GOD at Your side, no weapon formed against You can prosper. Amen!  

HE is so Faithful, Loving and Kind! There is no one like HIM!  HE is The KING of Kings, The LORD of Lords, and The Master of The Universe!  Amen!  

The LORD has asked Pauline to step out and share with others "the Foundational Keys" HE gave her during the last 27-year wilderness journey with HIM; so that others could also learn how to Overcome Trauma, Blossom In The Wilderness, and Thrive For The Kingdom!

Thus, Blossom In The Wilderness Podcast was born.    

Pauline has a wealth of experience in policy development; financial, project, office, and event management.

Pauline was a Business Consultant / Coach for 10 years, with clients from the private, government, and not-profit sectors. In one government contract, she supported the establishment and the implementation of an “Aging At Home" Provincial Strategy for Seniors. She also designed and facilitated community-based business management training for 5 years part-time.   

In 1989, while working in international development, The LORD positioned Pauline as "a Forerunner" in the fight against the commercial sexual exploitation of children worldwide; and she became one of the Founders of an international movement against child prostitution, child pornography and the trafficking of children for sexual purposes.    

For 11 years, in her various key leadership roles as International Advisory Board Member, National Treasurer and Board Member, and the last 4 years as National Executive Director.  Pauline analyzed, monitored, and advocated for change in federal and international legislation. 

In 1996 she also helped develop recommendations for Bill C-27 (An Amendment to the Canadian Criminal Code of Canada to protect children worldwide from sexual exploitation) which became law in April 1997, and numerous other international legislations.    

Pauline was sought out and invited to actively participated as “the expert” on national and international advisory councils, inter-governmental committees, and roundtables with federal ministers, and senators. She also worked in partnership with INTERPOL and Canada Customs. 

In the late 1990s, The LORD positioned Pauline be an Advisor, for over 2 years, to both: 

• Harvard University's Advisory Council of The John F. Kennedy School of Government, Protection Project, Phase II; and

• The Canadian Senate, meeting quarterly in Ottawa, ON, Canada.

Pauline was also Granted Intervener Status, in a controversial case on child pornography (Regina v. Sharpe), in both The British Columbia Court of Appeals (1999) and The Supreme Court of Canada (2000).   

By the time The LORD had Pauline lay down this work in 2000; the international movement (against child prostitution, child pornography and the trafficking of children for sexual purpose) was able, with GOD's help, to bring together in 57 countries, various sectors of society to attack this evil from numerous fronts.    

In the 1990s, Pauline volunteered for 3 years and served by loving on and ministering to the homeless, hungry, and broken in downtown Toronto, ON. 

The LORD also had Pauline serve for 4 years as a Crisis Intervention Responder in Central Ontario; where she responded to 911 calls in person to help support the victims of various crimes, accidents, and tragedies.   

Pauline taught Sunday School for 3 years, and served on the Senior Ministry, Worship, and Prophetic Presbytery Ministry Teams for 5 years at Jubilee Celebration Centre in Orillia, ON.   

Pauline also completed Ministry Training from CTF and received two CTF Leaders School of Ministry Certificates: Level 1 (2016) and Level 2 (2018).